It’s like a dream, except I know I’m awake. If I ever start to wonder, it never lasts long, doesn’t hold up in the face of the tiredness.

Back then, just a few months forever ago, they told me it would be this way — exhausting beyond what I could fathom. Now they tell me this year will go by faster than any other. They’re all right.

And so am I, for this strange new city, these bumpy roads, that shining example of an organization in which I now live and move and have my being, 40+ hours out of every 168.

It’s everything I didn’t dare to hope it would be. I push myself more, doubt myself less, and finally feel the purpose of so many parts of me that just never quite fit in anywhere else.

My patience has a place here, and my stubbornness stays in its place. I’m learning to trust the ease, not twist it into complexity. Perhaps the most important lesson of all.